Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Fat and Fearless: Photos

Welcome to another recurring blog series! This one I'm REALLY excited about, I'm calling it Fat and Fearless.  You can be offended all you want by the word "fat" but that's what makes me Plus Sized. It's not bones, it's not muscle, it's not personality, it's fat. I don't have a problem with it, it's soft and squishy and makes me fun to cuddle with. And I'm happy. But a lot of people aren't. To a lot of people, extra fat encourages fear in various situations. But I think we should all feel comfortable to be Fat and Fearless - no matter the situation.  Fearless means living your life happily, and not worrying about a little pudge!!

One of the most common fear-inducing moments with that extra fat comes to being photographed.  We let our concerns about how we look prevent us from documenting the happy moments in our lives. Surrounded by friends, laughing, smiling, and we're busy thinking about how our hips are a little wide! Are you KIDDING ME?!  And I used to be one of those people!

The worst part? As I looked back on those photos, I didn't see the happiness. I didn't focus on the memories. I focused on what I saw as flaws. That damn double chin as I look down at my newborn niece. That stupid underarm flab as I raise my arms in joy.  How big I look as I give my best girlfriend (who is very thin) one last hug goodbye.  How date I let these pictures ruin my memories?!

This is me meeting the AMAZING Stephanie J. Block. I HATED this pic because of how I looked, and I forgot that I was meeting a Broadway Celeb and one of my idols!

Lately, however, I've found myself beautiful. It started with learning how to take pictures of my self, yes, the infamous selfies, at an angle I found appealing. 

The pic where it all began
 I hated my double chin, so I started taking pics of myself at an angle above, so I hid the extra neck rolls. This let me examine what elements I DID like of myself. Despite some neck flab, I have a pronounced chin. My eyes are gorgeous. I have pretty cute little lips!  I also had friends take pictures of me, so I knew I wasn't being pias

Photographed by one of my friends
Hey look, I don't look terrible! I look mysterious. My arms don't even look that fat. I actually really love this picture of me! I think it would work to post on a dating site!  So then I moved to pics that encompassed more of my body...

A full body shot, please don't mind the messy mirror
 HOLY SMOKES! Look at me! I'm not wearing makeup, my hear isn't done, and I'm getting ready to go on a run. And all I see is happiness and a pretty girl. I don't see a flabby belly. I don't even see my pudgy fingers. I see a girl who thought it was fun to wear a sparkly bow when I couldn't find a sweat rag for a run!  Soon the pictures came naturally. It didn't matter if I was wearing makeup or not, it mattered what I wanted to show off

Bought a big bow in a store in Ireland
 The above pic? No Make up. My hair wasn't done. I was staying in a HOSTEL!  And yet, I love it, because I see the joy in my eyes. Next, it didn't even matter if I had FOOD in the picture! Hell, I love food, it gives joy and memories. But before, I feared food in a pic meant people would see more flaws and more fat in my pictures...

ZOMG CREPE! - and I really love my face in this pic.
The streets of Galway, I found a Nutella Crepe, one of my favorite foods ever.  You better believe I was documenting it!  And now? Anyone can take a pic of me in any situation for any reason! I will quit looking at the messy hair or the cankles. I'll focus on the beauty of the MEMORY!!!

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